How Life is Going

 I went to the doctor yesterday as a follow-up for pain. I had x-rays done, which was an ordeal because the x-ray machine kept malfunctioning. I rescheduled about 4 times between two different locations before I finally got them done. They did not send any pictures to my doctor. The tech wrote a paragraph about what she thought was wrong with me. I asked for copies to give to my attorney. My doctor got all offended because this office does not like to be involved in litigation. 

During the last visit, I must have said a dozen times that I was in a car wreck. Still having pain from the car wreck I was in. My lawyer wants me to go to an orthopedic surgeon. I have pain every day. We are getting ready to go to court. That wreck fucked me up. 

Like, how did she not know I had been in a car accident?! Is it common for people to request x-rays just to do them?! Doctor also forgot that she had sent me to physical therapy. At the follow-up visit to determine if therapy was making a difference. 

I hit a brick wall when I brought up vaping. I told her every time my sons vape in the house, my throat swells shut. She said I really needed to do something about that. I asked if there was some kind of program that could break the addiction. She started hemming and hawing, maybe she could refer us to the nurse practitioner, who would evaluate them, and if there was sufficient evidence, then perhaps we could be referred to a mental health practitioner who helps with smoking addictions. 

I have found two places that deal with vaping, but neither are local to me. The closest one is in another state, at least an hour's drive away. If I can get them in. There are drug addiction centers locally, but most deal with adults who want to quit, not teenagers. 

The vaping is driving me nuts. I think it is more than just vaping. I know Youngest Son prefers the vapes that weed can be added to. Last week, I discovered Middle Son brokered a meth drug deal. Meth would probably cause my rashes. 

I also feel very angry with I try to talk about it, because I know my sons know better. They know what it does to me, but they keep doing it anyway. If it makes my skin blister and itch, what are vapes doing to their lungs? 

To get my mind off feeling like an utter failure as a parent, I've been spending a lot of time on DeviantArt. I've gotten quite a following. My pieces seem to be doing well. 

Recently, I tie dyed a t-shirt. I really like how it looks, and it was fun to wear, so I think I will make more. I've been focused more on art for me, rather than what I think will sell. I'll try to post some pictures of what I'm working on in the next post.

Blessed be, my dears.