The More Things Change, The Less Difference

 I withdrew Middle Son from public school because that's where he was getting vapes/drugs. I did that on Tuesday. He's been at home ever since Friday, November 8, when I checked him out of school to be drug tested. Since then, I have found two more vapes. One fell out of his pocket as he walked across the living room last night. 

So now he can't be in the back of the house. 

He slept on the couch. I got clothes out of his closet, and when I put them in the bathroom, I looked for vapes. He immediately tried to go in the bedroom, so I am sure there are still vapes stashed in the closet. Today I will begin cleaning the bedroom. Eventually, I will either find all the vapes or he will run out. 

Drug rehab still hasn't been set up. I called the doctor yesterday to check on progress. I was told it might be Monday or Tuesday before I get a call. 

My rashes are not as bad. They still itch slightly, but nothing like before. I can touch the rashes without pain. I think the one on my leg is clearing up. This tells me I have reduced how much my son vapes. I am trying to get to clear skin.

I feel like all of this is pointless. He doesn't want to give up his addiction. Despite constant searching, he still has stashes of contraband. This feels like an unbroken circle, dizzily constricting and narrow. I'd like to stop, rest, center. Instead, I trek endlessly, never covering new ground, and occasionally stumbling over a vape. I feel crazy. 

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