Improving. Kinda

Finally! I am to blog with pictures! from my phone! I am so glad I got that to work. As you can see, I found a useful spell. I haven't tried it yet. 

I think I should try it immediately. Lots of bad things happened today. 

First, I couldn't wake up. I barely slept last night. I itched a lot. My rashes were settling down, so the flare is damn annoying. I don't know if I didn't get all the THC residue out, or if I have been re-exposed. Maybe both. Maybe both coupled with stress. 

Since I didn't wake up, I didn't shower. Or have coffee. Or start cleaning. 

I was sort of rushing out the door when the nurse at the allergist called me and said my insurance was inactive. I am supposed to have insurance until the end of the month. 

Since I don't have insurance anymore, I started cancelling other appointments. When I called the dentist, they assured me that I still had insurance on the 19th because they ran it before sending me the reminder. I explained the allergist had just called, so the dentist ran the insurance again. They discovered the insurance had been retro-deactivated to the 14th, which was the date of the most recent paycheck.

And suddenly I figured out why I never got the latest Rx from my endocrinologist. 

Feeling kind of dazed, I started doing homeschool lessons with my daughter. A few minutes later, my daughter-in-law started yelling and rushed outside. Her two year old couldn't find anyone. Daughter-in-law was in the bathroom, I was in the bedroom; it was totally quiet. So the baby just opened the front door and went looking for us, because that's what she did Sunday. The difference was Sunday her father was outside burning limbs. It was a delightful surprise for our toddler to go outside all by herself and find not only Daddy, but to see bright orange flames. 

Today, her mother and I were not delighted. We were terrified. My daughter-in-law is pregnant. When she ran out, she tripped and skinned her knee. I have been worried about a miscarriage all day. I hope that won't happen since she fell on her knees. 

There's too much in the yard that could hurt my granddaughter. My husband is a mechanic. We have rusty metal everywhere. The neighborhood is full of various pets which may or may not be current on vaccinations. Traffic is heavy on our road. The more I think about this, the more danger I see. 

I feel like the insurance being cancelled after they promised we would have it until the end of the month is just an extra level of spite. That doesn't just affect my husband; it causes harm to me because I am not supposed to just quit the shot, but without insurance the allergist won't give me anything. I had asked about going off the Xolair before. They told me I had to step down the dose gradually. I might be in for a lot of flares/reactions. yay.

I need to reset all my wards. I feel like attack is coming from all directions. Part of me thinks these events are tied together, like when I started trying to break free of the old freezer spell, she did a new one. Another part of me thinks my frienemy isn't that good at magick and the planets are doing some wonky shit across the sky...but! I keep seeing connections. I guess if you're pissed off enough, you can make things happen. It's sort of like firing a shotgun. You just point it in the general area and you hit something; the target and everything close by. 

My nerves are fried. I was cold all morning and couldn't get warm. I finally took a shower with salt. I feel better now, but salt just removes whatever negativity was currently clinging to me. It doesn't guard against another attack. 

I don't know how many times I have been under attack. My wards may have held up against half a dozen curses. Or they have lessened the damage from something big. The ones I have set against certain people might still be holding. 

I read the cards. I was trying to figure out what is going on. I don't think I ever did anything to the not friend, but she thinks I did. I think her ex-husband did something and she believed it was my fault. I think she is still blaming me and that's why this most recent round of ill sorted events are occurring. I thought about trying to reveal truth, but I don't think she wants the truth, so that wouldn't change anything. 

Of course, sometimes the cards show me things and I don't figure it out until the thing happens. It's very easy to see what you want to see in divination. Or to ignore things that don't make sense. Part of me feels like I can't ward against everything, but not having wards feels like just leaving the door wide open for anyone to wander in. That is sheer stupidity. I think I would rather fumble around blindly rather than wait for an attack.

I don't have answers, so blessed be and be careful.