Quite A Lot

 The full moon zipped by and I failed to post because holy shit.

Today I am flying an airplane. There is A LOT of reading involved in aviation. Most of it doesn't make sense until I do the thing. Learning to fly is very much like being blind and only getting verbal descriptions. It would help more to touch the thing.

I have a bunch of books I need to carry around. I have a pilot's logbook that must stay with me. I have several manuals. I have downloaded an app to keep up with constant updates, but I still want the book. I thought I could use my husband's book but he has a different one because he learned to fix planes, not fly them. Some years ago I decided to study weather so I could be a better gardener and now I need to dig out my weather book and relearn that so I can understand the aviation weather book and app. I carry a bookbag again and I feel like a college student once more, though I feel more intelligent this go round. 

My mother has taken to wandering around her neighborhood. This is affecting their lives. Some of them weren't home so she sat in their yard to wait. Then the school bus driver wouldn't let the little girl off the bus because there was a stranger lurking in the yard. 

My mother did the lurking thing immediately after my husband checked on her. He thought he explained everything well and she was agreeable. He didn't think she'd leave again, but she didn't like being told no. She went looking for someone to tell her it's okay to drive.

My latest art project, which I haven't had a chance to work on, is drawing cows. I got the owner's manual out of my Dad's old truck, and I am going to draw his cows on the pages. I planned to sketch several, then color them whenever I feel stress.

Unfortunately, when stress hits, I usually have to drive to my mother's house. Then she argues with me. No matter what I say, she will ask the same question over and over. Finally she will agree with me. As soon as I leave, she walks down the road. Neighbors call and I drive back. By the time I arrive, she's back in the house pretending she never left.

I am struggling to keep up with housework. I don't remember the last time I sewed anything. I forgot to water my houseplants. I did pull weeds in the garden on Sunday, and I turned compost. 

I'm tired often. I rarely know how I feel.

Tried to get help. I asked Youngest Son to stay with my mom. He told me he didn't want to go over there because she hit him. And then I understood why her hand was bruised. We compromised. He stayed in her yard while I was at the airport. Instead of wandering around the neighborhood, she came outside to yell at him. 

That's my life right now. Oh, and my husband found a job for me working at a store. Because I don't have enough going on.

Blessed be. Stay safe and well.

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