Full Moon in Capricorn

 

Good morning, my dears. Today is the full moon is in Capricorn, which is the sign of structure and rules. I made a decision to cut back on checking on my mother. I think I discovered evidence of an affair. I'm annoyed with her because she is a hypocrite. She always preached that anyone who had an affair was trash. That is her standard M. O. Loudly denouncing what she is doing. 

I also found out she wrote down every time I "lied" but she didn't write what I lied about or how she knew. After she caught me in a lie, she started writing down everywhere I went. I do remember her following me to evening classes at the community college. Apparently she was being a detective, so I assume I started lying because I got tired of explaining my every move.

After finding her calendars with all these notes, I decided all of this is making me depressed. I don't know why she kept those things. I also believe that sometimes she would read those calendars and get angry all over again. This would explain why sometimes she is ranting about something that happened 40 years ago. I have been wondering what triggered her. 

I don't want to sort through her trauma. I can't see where knowing these things helps me in any way. Talking to my mother is impossible. She can't hear, and if she doesn't want to hear, she changes the subject. 

I decided not to go to her house daily. I think two to three times a week is best for my mental health. She doesn't have any concept of how much times has passed, so I don't think it matters. I also decided that when I do go, I will have a plan for what I am going to do. I have been cleaning randomly, moving what I do not think she will miss. Sometimes, when I see her, she demands that I take something. Yesterday it was clothes. She wanted me to keep them. I sorted through the pile, then made a trip to the goodwill donation box. That ate up more than an hour of my time. 

I also decided not to see her on the days that I fly. That way I know I will have a good day, unmarred by her toxic self. I would like to be no contact, but I do not think that is possible since she has dementia. 

The sun is in the sign of Cancer, which is about nurturing. Full moons always occur in the sign opposite of the sun. It doesn't surprise me that I came to this decision when the sun and moon are in opposition. 

I have been thinking about art. I believe if I make more things with my hands, it will calm my nerves. I am not highly focused on selling. Mainly, I have been finishing projects. I am also trying to add in whimsy. I was going to make a quilt for my bed. I decided instead of starting from scratch, I would use a quilt top that had been given to me. It's a flower hexagon quilt. I have decided to add moons, stars, and bees to the flowers. Pictures to come. 

Witchcraft wise, I upped my wards because I discovered one of my in-laws is causing problems. I have been trying to keep distance between us, but apparently that isn't enough. I haven't figured out what to do about this yet. I am starting to think a mirror box might be the way to go. 

That's all for now. Blessed be. Stay safe and well.