Diva, the Pain, & the Dementia Patient Goes to Verizon

 I expanded my horse art.

This is Diva, a work in progress. She is a plastic toy horse, and her head moves up and down. I added fabric stars. 

I randomly cut out stars without counting. I thought I had enough stars, but then I realized one was left over and it seems a waste to leave the one out. So I put it on her belly.

Diva's mane is pulled up just so her hair won't get glued to her body. She doesn't have a tail. I started making a new one. 

I think Diva will have a mossy base with additional stars. I was going to make one of my 8 point stars for a base, but since I started with 5 point stars, I think I should use them throughout. 

Diva came from a thrift store. I bought a foal at the same time, but it isn't finished. I wasn't sure how I would use Diva because I wanted to leave her head and neck movable. I didn't want to paint her, as I was sure the paint would flake off. I don't really intend for her to be played with, but it seemed important to keep her as close to original as I could. I also really like her green eyes; I didn't want to paint over them. 

I am still updating listings in my shop, though I haven't had another sale yet. I decided to work on horse art. I have a large piece that needs to be listed. And I figured out the solution to a keychain problem. I'm really eager to work. This weekend, I had a setback. My neck hurt so much the pain made me physically ill. I woke up around 3 on Sunday morning feeling slightly sick to my stomach, but I thought I had gotten too hot. I propped up with pillows and I feel asleep that way, which resulted in intense pain. I stayed in bed all day Sunday. Fortunately, it rained Sunday afternoon, breaking both high temps and humidity. This morning when I woke up, the nausea was gone and while my neck feels stiff, I can move around without pain. I haven't made anything today because I have been cleaning up my kitchen. My husband doesn't understand "clean as you go" so the butter had been out for nearly 24 hours. Along with the eggs. It looks like a week's worth of dirty dishes in the sink.

Wednesday-

I started writing on Monday, then my husband came home. I can't write when he's here because he interrupts me constantly. I can't keep my thoughts on track. He stayed home Tuesday, so I didn't get to write yesterday either.

What I did do on Tuesday was take my mother to Verizon to pay her phone bill. I used majick to make things go smoothly and it was still an ordeal. First, I got the email telling me they were about to end service. I went to her house and told her the bill needed to be paid. Immediately, she began arguing with me. She already paid it. She hasn't gotten a bill. If I paid it, why does she need to go? Then she grabbed a whole stack of bills. I told her we were only going to pay the phone bill. She wanted to give me a check. Verizon doesn't take checks.

I did a glamour to look like a sweet Southern lady. This worked great on the bank teller. She recognized my mother, called her by name, and did everything I asked without arguing. She knows I am not on the account, but she doesn't care because when I am with my mother, I can keep her from screaming at everyone in the bank. 

At the Verizon store, I told the dude we were there to pay the bill. He asked how we were paying. Cash. He asked for the phone number. He said the wrong name. I gave him the number again. He asked cash or card. Cash. My mother got out her checkbook. I had to stop her. Then I had to open her texts and approve that we were paying her bill. Dude asked again, cash or card? CASH! I snapped. He told me there was a three dollar charge for paying cash. I told him that was fucking stupid. He said I could go to a corporate store and pay cash there. I was about to tell him what I really need are all the Verizon stores to just function as stores that can take all methods of payments, but then my mother started pulling things out of her purse, so I took over. I got the money out to count. My mother started yelling, Take all my money! and being that Verizon is a predatory lender, dude said, put it all towards the bill? And my mother, who just wants everyone to agree with her, said yes. There was no change from the $120 because my mother, who clearly is not of sound mind and could not complete the payment on her on, made an agreeable noise when asked a question. Of course, being that they don't like cash, they may not of had the $3 and change to give me.

Next was the receipt, which could not be printed. Dude said he emailed it, but I never got anything so I don't know if he didn't email it, or if he sent it to that other customer with the number that's one off from Mom's, or if my mother has an email that I am unaware of. If I go back to the store, I have to take my mother's phone and argue with them. If I take her, she will buy something. If I say nothing, problems and bills continue to stack up. 

Finally, we were done. But my mother didn't get a paper receipt, so she didn't think the transaction was complete. She kept asking if we were really done. Predatory lender dude said we could buy phones. Mom started opening her mouth to agree, so I screamed NO! At the top of my lungs, and shoved her out. Except she had to talk about how hard it is to be an old woman and no one ever helps. Dude lingered, ready to grab the latest phone and launch into his sales pitch. 

I read that abusers get dementia. Did you know that only the meanest people become zombies? Of course, zombies aren't real. What is real was people revolting against cruel plantation owners. They would capture the owner, drug him, then keep him as a slave to punish him for all the misery that he had inflicted over the years. 

When the plantation owner failed to return home, his family would search. Not finding anything, they would declare him dead. His heirs would quickly claim their inheritance, the long suffering wife would be free, and everybody would be happy. 

Some years would pass. Either the drugs would wear off, or someone would neglect the daily dose, or they couldn't afford to keep him, or they had tired of tormenting the evil one, he had worked off his sentence, or whatever. So not remembering what had happened, the land owner would go home. His family would be in a panic. They wouldn't want to give up what they were enjoying. Usually, they would kill him again, this time making sure to separate the head from the body, or burning the body, because a body destroyed utterly cannot reanimate. 

There's not a thought in my mother's head. She is distracted by shiny things and loud noise. She wants whatever she sees. It's a lot like having a spoiled toddler who doesn't like hearing the word no. Or a zombie that just lurches toward danger not caring what happens to anyone else. She has always been narcissistic. Now she has no concept of other people having feelings or needs. She believes everyone is there for her, the sole purpose of anything is for her, nothing exists on its own. She is the world. 

This is exhausting. I cannot reason with her. I can't explain anything because if she doesn't want to hear it then she forgets. 

I no longer ask permission. I just do whatever needs to be done. She doesn't care. She probably thinks I owe her my existence and it's my job to provide for her. I have saved her thousands of dollars. I have secured money that she would have lost. I have prevented theft, fire, and carbon monoxide poisoning. Sometimes she undoes maintenance as fast as I can provide it. She has caused pipes to freeze. She has broken windows. She has given herself salmonella. She has pulled out everything I boxed up. This means I cannot stop during any process. I must do the whole thing from start to finish, and then put away all the tools and all evidence that I did anything. If I don't, she starts undoing. She becomes angry. When she's angry, she rants, rages, and lies. Sometimes she so eager to prove a point that she reveals secrets that I did not need to know. I am not sure if in those moments she has forgotten that I am her daughter, or if she knows and wants to hurt me. 

I don't have any blessings today. I'm still recovering from yesterday. Stay safe and well and sane. Stay away from zombies.