The Horrors Persist

 My dears, it has been the week from hell. 

On Monday, my mother decided to walk down the road. Twice. Both times deputies called me. The second time, she was sitting in the ditch. I had to lift her up. She was deadweight and did not even try to get up. My back spasmed for the rest of the day. But that wasn't the end, oh no, not at all.

Monday night, I was tired, stressed out, in pain, and late cooking dinner. A strange car pulled up in the yard. It was one of my mother's neighbors. She was walking in the dark. She couldn't remember how to get to my house, but she did bring her address book, so he was able to find me.

I gave her half of my dinner, which she wouldn't eat. She sat on the couch and complained about every minor thing that had ever happened. My husband foolishly believes he can reason with her, so he wrote notes asking questions and trying to explain things. Why was he writing? Because she doesn't hear and has no interest in what anyone may be saying. 

After an hour of this, I had enough. I gave her melatonin, then took her home. I took her house key with me because I was hoping if she couldn't lock the house, she wouldn't leave. 

That worked. She did not go anywhere. 

I found a company called Home Instead. They send caregivers to the dementia patient's house. I met with them Tuesday morning. My mother is against the whole thing. She believes the representative in interested in her land. She demanded to know why everyone wants to know what she is doing in her house. I told her if she stopped telling people that she is a wealthy woman with lots of land, people will quit asking questions. She got pissed off; I was implying that she did something wrong. 

By this point, she had figured out the key was missing. I swapped the back door key with the front door key. I don't know if she's realized the key doesn't turn in the lock. Tuesday, after meeting with Home Instead, I took her to town to pay her phone bill. She is less inclined to wander after going to town. But that doesn't mean she didn't try to leave, because there is no logic to what she does. 

I have been struggling to clean my house. Being that I have gone to Homestead every single day this week...it feels much longer. Today is only Wednesday. I think it should be Friday. Enough has happened. Anyway. Yesterday I gave up on cleaning. I started making Christmas presents because it gave me something to do, a simple project, but one I haven't done before, and it's not like I don't have enough unfinished projects laying around. 

My goals now are coffee, shower, read the cards. Maybe make an attempt at cleaning my house. Maybe go to Homestead. Exercise, tend my plants, and sew a bit. Nothing else. This is a full plate. Might be a bit too full, but I refuse to give up the small things that make me happy. My mother ruins everything that is good. I won't give in. 

Blessed be, my dears. stay safe and well.